Finding Forgiveness
by Verthril
Summary: Post DOFP:1973 - Raven had her reasons to fight for a future where she would never have to hide, though they were nothing so petty as to be for herself. One single night changed her world, forcing her to find strength out of a moment of weakness. The night she became a mother.
1. Chapter 1

Marvel owns the X-men, no profit is to be made from this work.

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For him she had to hide, wearing a mask that felt fragile and thin, weathered by time for how long she had once worn it. The pretty blonde everyone liked, the one men lusted for. Few were the men who desired her for who she was, who could make her feel beautiful by the longing in their eyes.

Erik had been the first, a worldly man with a drive and vision that woke a fire within her. And though now she could forgive Hank for how long it had taken him to look on her as Erik had, he wasn't the second but the third. One night after too many hardships a devil came to comfort her, it was an evening of mistakes she couldn't regret, not in hindsight. It was bad form to speak ill of the dead after all.

A whimper became a wail that had her find a safe shoulder to pull over against, climbing into the back seats where the other reason she couldn't regret her evening with Azazel lay, the son he'd given her.

"It's okay Kurt, Mommy's here." Raven cooed, though he struggled and fought with her.

Playing a game of peekaboo, she flashed her citrine eyes full of all the love she felt for him, the face she wore no longer a stranger as he smiled brightly and laughed.

"Oh you grew so big, I missed your birthday didn't I?" Raven asked, bouncing him on her knee in that way she knew he liked, "I won't miss anymore, I won't ever leave you again."

He was his father's son, her little Kurt, and though Azazel had been a demon in likeness and in deed, Kurt was her little elf from a fairy tale. It hadn't been for herself she had so foolishly fought, never knowing how close she came to damning them all out of her misguided crusade, it had been for Kurt. Seeing her mistake for what it was, it was time for her son to know his uncles, to grow up somewhere safe where he wouldn't have to hide as she had for so very long.

"Go to sleep now Kurt, Mommy promises when you wake up that this car ride will be over and we'll both be home."

Tucking him in and wishing sweet dreams with a kiss, for the handful of years she had been away it felt like a lifetime. But in the remembered trees and every familiar bend along that road that would take her home she felt a sense of relief wash over her, hearing a promise reach across the gulf of time to offer a hand once more.

Charles had given her a home, become a brother to her, and like all siblings they had fought. It all seemed so petty and foolish now. Blinking away tears she felt no shame over, she had one more man to add to that list, the first who ever made her feel something with how he looked at her. Charles had made her feel safe and welcome, and that was exactly what she wanted for her son.

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"Well kid, I guess congratulations are in order, here." Logan said with a hearty pat to Hank's back, offering up a cigar he'd been saving.

For all her powers of mimicry Raven couldn't hide her smile as Hank squirmed in his seat with Kurt on his lap and Logan at his back. Sipping at her lemonade just to hide the fun she was having, Charles played the game better with a forced cough, dabbing at his lips while pretending to have choked on his iced tea.

"Logan, he's not mine." Hank swore, looking to Raven and Charles for support neither seemed likely to lend.

"Bullshit." Logan said with a shrug, sparing a glance for Raven, "Apologies ma'am, what I meant to say was cow patties."

"You're really going to make me say this?" Hank asked pointedly of Charles in particular.

Hank could have cleared up the confusion in a thousand different ways, the boy she remembered had always been eloquent when he found the courage to rise to the occasion, but in his citrine eyes so like her own she saw something that wiped the smile from her lips. Love was simple, she'd seen people fall into it for every face she ever wore, but in his eyes she saw something pure, an adoration that promised to be true no matter how much it hurt.

"I'm a virgin." Hank stammered out, wetting his lips with his bottle of coca-cola.

The cocksure smirk fell from Logan and he turned as unsure as any man cast out to sea, looking for any bit of flotsam to cling to just to keep from sinking further beneath the waves. Throughout it all Kurt sat oblivious, a boy not yet two pawing at the blue fur of the man who held him.

"Then you and him didn't...you know...?" Logan asked, waving a finger between Raven and Hank.

She couldn't bring herself to answer, not in the light of the torch that Hank had carried all this time. Seeing him there holding Kurt so warm and tender, the ache was unbearable but it was something she had brought on herself. Ever the White Knight, Charles came to her rescue again.

"Logan, why don't we excuse them. There was that thing we were talking about earlier wasn't there?"

"Yeah, that thing. Sure thing Chuck, lets go talk about it, that thing. The one we were talking about."

Hiding her face and wishing there was a crowd she could just fade into, vanish within and run, she'd been running for so long it seemed natural. Tiny hands found her, grasped and clung and called to her. Breathing deep, the game of peekaboo she played was as any parent might, finding a smile for her son who filled it full of warmth with his own.

"He's adorable Raven." Hank said without any sweetness, simply speaking a truth he believed from the bottom of his heart.

Tears came that couldn't be stopped so easily this time, tears full of relief from finding everything she had hoped for in just a few words. She had her sins to pay for, but Kurt was innocent against all her crimes. Blind to the world for how blurry her vision had gone, she knew them by touch alone, her first loves. Hank had been a crush that nearly killed her, but Kurt had mended her broken heart.

Now she was home, a spy out from the cold warming herself against the fur of the most gentle beast she knew. Curled between them and cradled in their warmth, Kurt slept soundly. For him they held another, speaking in whispers and telling stories they finally had found a moment to share despite all the years they had spent saving them like pennies for a rainy day.

Neither wanted to speak their secret wish lest they curse it, seeing a second chance in one another's eyes that swore all the promises their pained hearts had ever hoped for. So they sat in comfortable and content in the quiet, waiting for the one between them to wake to his new home.

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	2. Chapter 2

Marvel owns the X-men, no profit is to be made from this work.

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_~ Two Years Later ~_

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"Henry!"

Hank knew he was in trouble if she was using his given name, well, really it was the shrill edge to her voice that told of just how vexed she was. Adjusting his tie once more and smoothing over his shirt, he looked ready for the official reopening of the school. Looking about the room he'd shared with Raven since their reconciliation, there were plenty of Kurt's toys laying about that would have to be picked up later. The boy did love his bedtime stories, except that he loved them in Momma and Pappa's bed.

"Coming dear!" Hank called.

Taking a brisk pace down to the hall, he found Raven at the stairs looking to the chandelier and the reason for her ire.

"Oh my stars and garters."

Sitting as pleased as punch with himself, Kurt waved from the chandelier where he was dressed for the auspicious occasion in slacks and a vest that were much like Hank's own, his mother holding his jacket still on the hanger.

"Can you please go fetch our son?" Raven hissed.

In some relationships the spats were fought over taking out the trash or the Honey Do list, in theirs it was over all the naughty things he got up to with his stepson. A glance saw Raven spinning her engagement ring about in that endearing habit of hers, he could always tell her mood by how she played with it. She wasn't so much angry as flustered, and for very good reason, they were all a little hurried today with how busy they were making sure everything was perfect.

"And here you thought I was being foolish with how picky I was about the tailoring of my suit? Be a dear and hold my jacket please."

In one easy vault Hank caught the chandelier, it was child's play as they said and Kurt giggled and laughed as they swung to and fro. Flipping about to hang from his feet, it was a game of Monkey See and Monkey Do, waiting for Kurt to mimic him in his own way. Hanging from his prehensile tail, Kurt smiled to the man who was his father in all the ways that counted.

"Alley-oop?" Hank offered, earning himself an eager nod from Kurt who delighted in theatrics.

"No, no alley-oop!" Raven snapped.

Kurt wouldn't be denied, letting go of the chandelier for a midair flip. Cupping his hands together and hefting the boy aloft, Hank admired his form while Kurt flew through the air with all the grace of a trapeze artist. Jackets were dropped and Raven proved herself every as nimble as ever, a jump and leap having her crouched on the banister to catch her son.

"Just for that Henry you can take the lint brush to both of your jackets. Now, what do we say when Pappa makes Mamma cross Kurt?"

"Bad Pappa." Kurt said with a laugh, hugging his mother as she held him from their perch upon the banister.

Landing in the foyer below, Hank once again smoothed out his shirt and vest, taking the stairs at a leisurely pace to fetch his and his son's jackets for a brush down.

"Goodness Hank, if I knew you were going to be up there I could have given you a lightbulb. It would have saved Logan having to dig out the ladder."

"I suppose it is handy that I am so nimble and quick to go jumping over the candlestick, Kurt does love exploring and even I must confess that he simply amazes me sometimes." Hank chuckled, smiling brightly to his mentor.

"Uncle Chuck!"

Holding tight to the bundle of energy a three year old boy was, Raven passed Kurt off to his favourite Uncle.

"Are you ready to meet your new playmates today?" Charles asked the question that was wholly rhetorical for the sure nod Kurt gave him.

A school needed students and students they would have, but some where to be younger than they ever imagined. The genie was out of the bottle and Mutants were no longer a secret, all one had to do was look to the White House to see the truth of their existence.

Jackets could wait, hanging them over the banister to wrap his fiancee in a hug to sooth away her fears and worries.

"Are we ready?" Raven whispered from within his embrace.

"As we'll ever be, but lets leave everything else for the day we can look back and see all our mistakes ahead in a better light shan't we?"

Mistakes like trying to fix things that weren't broken, meddling in matters he had no business mucking with. It was a mistake he would never take back, he was through with needles and potions meant to fix him. It was a mistake that lead to better things, to an engagement that would one day lead to wedding bells, and most importantly to having a son who looked up to him.

"Why don't we go for a ride down the elevator Kurt while your parents finish getting ready." Charles proposed with a wink.

"Elevator!" Kurt cheered.

Left alone to bask in their son's delight of a short trip from one floor to the next, Kurt would find any excuse to ride with his Uncle Chuck from one floor to the next. Their lives were about adapting to change, to things some might call handicaps while they simply saw them as challenges, and Charles met his own adversities in a similar manner.

"Mother's crying."

"Oh jeez, let me go fix my makeup then." Raven laughed, her voice catching with a hitched hiccup that betrayed her.

Her skin smoothed before his eyes, every fleck he knew so intimately vanishing from sight, her hair flowing out in a wash of crimson that fell to shoulder length. She played with styles picked from magazines until at last she found one she liked, the one that stole his breath. Kissing away the tears that stained her cheeks, chaste was the kiss that said what he couldn't find his voice for no matter how vast his vocabulary was.

"I love you too Hank." Raven whispered, hiding in his arms where she always felt safe.

Kissing her again with all the passion she kindled in him, he held her and played echo to her confession.

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"Wow!" Kurt cried out as the limousine pulled up the drive.

"I see he still has to make a big entrance." Raven hissed, bouncing Kurt on her lap.

"Oh don't tell me you're still mad at him? It was harmless flirting." Charles scoffed, laughing off her foul mood.

"You were just as bad as him, oh and that horrible pick up line of yours?"

"Flirting?" Hank asked, his fur bristling at the very mention of it.

"Besides, he's a married man now. With a son I might add." Shaking his head, Charles caught Logan looking interested in the spat, sporting a smirk that told of his amusement.

"I'll behave as long as he does, I doubt he's even going to recognize me." Raven muttered, leaning against Hank to find the comfort found in her little family of three.

"What was the pickup line?" Logan asked, leaning near Charles as to play at keeping it between them.

"We can exchange notes later Logan, be a good man and do try to look professional."

Charles had a promise to keep after all, one he took very seriously. But of course it wasn't as if he could just rush off after the handful of names he'd been given, there had to be a school first fit for the bright future he wanted to build. It had taken two very long years, but he wasn't alone in it. Today they were all ready to make the most of the opportunity they'd been given, and with a glance to Logan, Charles hoped one day he might have a chance to properly thank him.

As the limo came to a halt the driver stepped out in all the protocol of any coachman, opening doors and offering a hand to the ladies of the carriage.

"Alex!" Charles greeted.

"Professor."

It was a bittersweet reunion made sad that others couldn't be with them, but that was a thought for later when they could drink to the dead and remember them in stories, sharing the regrets and guilt they carried. Raven spared a wave, blinking away her tears as Alex gave her a nod and a sombre smile that was mirrored by Hank.

Stepping out of the limo was a gangly boy hardly older than thirteen, surely blind as told by the cane he carried and glasses that hid away his unseeing eyes, or as good as blind given his troublesome mutation. But that was something Charles promised to address.

"This must be Scott." Waiting as Alex helped his brother up the gravel drive, Charles offered his hand and found a firm grip returned in that gesture that bound men together.

"Hello Professor Xavier, you, you can really help me?" Scott asked, taking a breath to try and steel himself and his hopes for the reality he faced.

"Between Henry and myself I am absolutely positive we can." Charles promised.

Feeling a breeze stir as two young ladies stepped out, they were lovely and promised to blossom into stunning beauties. Ororo looked every bit happy to be free to roam no matter how luxurious the car had been, but Jean had eyes for him that bore a predatory glint that matched her avian features.

"He's not lying. Trust me, I'd know if he was." Jean said.

"Good luck with that one." Alex added, earning himself an irritated look from the redhead.

"He can really help us?" Ororo asked, her eyes lost to the clouds above that answered to the lazy sway of her finger as easily as one might play with the surface of a pond.

"Charles! Dear god man it's been too long, already going bald I see?"

"Warren, finally settled down I see, worried your good looks wouldn't last much longer?"

Offering his old friend a hug with a firm pat, Charles awaited the introduction to Mrs. Worthington at last. The wedding had been during his dark period of self loathing and self abuse by a bottle.

"Warren painted a poor picture of you Charles, it's a pleasure to finally meet you."

"Elizabeth, the pleasure is mine. Might I have the honour to introduce to you Raven, my sister, and her fiancé Henry, as well as their son Kurt."

Stiffly Raven rose for the introduction, yet the surprise was to be hers as Elizabeth took her in a welcoming hug that encompassed Kurt.

"How old is he?" Elizabeth asked almost immediately of Kurt.

"I'm three!" Kurt answered with a broad smile for he was a big boy now.

"My Warren is four, I hope you two can be good friends. Warren? Come meet Kurt won't you?"

Shyly hiding behind the door the door of the limo, Warren peeked out with a pout that said he didn't want to, yet that pout quickly gave way to slack jawed astonishment. Jogging up to his mother's skirt without any care to play at being proper, Warren stared up at Kurt, Raven and Hank alike. Only now it was their turn to hide gasps behind their hands even as Kurt squirmed to be free, because Warren looked every bit an angel down to his cherub wings.

Blink as much as she might, Raven couldn't clear her vision of the tears that came watching Kurt and Warren shyly touching another and the things that made them different from most, their smiles growing with their laughter.

"Girls?" Warren called out to the limo, the driver standing at parade rest by the door the younger Worthington had come from.

As shyly as Warren before them, two girls peeked past the door who could have been twins were it not for one having skin of lilac and beautiful violet hair. Crying out an inarticulate noise of grief, Raven slowly made her way to the girls hoping not to startle them. Eyes of startling jade looked into her own citrine ones, innocent, shy and utterly curious.

Raven managed a smile as she crouched with the girls, all her worries for naught, seeing her own childhood in a girl who couldn't hide behind a pretty face.

"Our little elf is Clarice, while my goddaughter Jubilation is the one giving you the stink eye." Warren said in ways of introduction, "Jubilee, play nice."

She had a thousand questions to ask, but they were questions that had to wait as it wasn't time for them. Both were curious, stealing looks after the mansion turned school and at all the new faces. Offering them a hand so she might play White Rabbit, Raven led them to the rest were Kurt and Warren waited with their fathers.

"Well, now that introductions are over why don't we adjourn to the sitting room. You all must b tired from the drive." Leading the way, Charles accepted the help offered by Alex with the ramp.

Behind him the newest generation followed but never like he imagined, proving the future was uncertain as ever, but in them he saw hope.

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"Your claws, can I see them?" Jean asked without any preamble, confidently smiling at Logan as she caught him off guard, "I can read minds like the Professor."

"I guess ya know my answer already then." Logan replied, tapping ash before enjoying another slow draw of his cigar.

"It was worth asking anyway." Sitting off at the other end of the chesterfield, Jean let her bored gaze wander around the room.

"He thinks I'm pretty." Jean nodded after Alex.

"Well ya sure ain't homely."

"Some people think I'm pretty in ways I don't like, but not him. I like how he thinks about me, I always wanted an older brother."

"You be sure to tell me if ya get anyone doin' more than thinking it in ways ya don't like, then just maybe you'll get to see my claws after all." Logan said with a low growl, wearily sighing as he looked sidelong to the self-sure girl.

"You mean that, you really do. Thank you." Jean said with a small shy smile.

For as aloof as she played at though, Logan caught her gaze lingering on one boy in particular, the youngest of the Summers brothers. His cigar couldn't overpower a scent that came sharp and clear and hinted at a crush, smirking and thinking it was time for a bit of payback.

"Lemme guess, ya like him because to him ya ain't just another pretty face?"

"He's also cute." Jean admitted, laughing lightly as the tables were turned.

"So why don't ya go talk to him then and leave me alone?"

"I think I will, talk to him that is. You're too interesting to leave alone, I'd like to talk to you again if you'd let me."

"Something tells me you're a lady used to getting what she wants, ain't ya?"

"Is that a yes?"

Blowing smoke and letting her pluck the answer from his stray thoughts, Logan ignored her until Jean finally made good on her promise to leave him alone if just for the moment. But he could tell as good as any mind reader that she hadn't been lying, and the thought of a slip of a girl forced to stare the ugly mess that laid in some men's minds was enough to have his knuckles sting from how close to the surface his claws rested.

"It's a promise."

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"I, we couldn't even believe it at first, but after that whole mess in Washington, well needless to say I stopped looking for medical reasons once his wings became what they are." Warren stammered, his eyes lost to his mostly untouched cup of coffee.

"We adopted Clarice a year ago, please don't think bad of us, but we wanted him to have a sister who wouldn't, who wouldn't see him as..." Elizabeth said, her voice failing her as tears heavy with guilt fell.

As a freak, as a monster or an abomination. Raven had lived in fear for so long, still hiding for the sake of her family. She was no longer Mystique, that was a woman who only fought for herself at heart.

"They'll be perfectly safe here." Charles promised, and Raven could only nod in agreement as she looked down to Kurt playing with the two children so like in that they too were different.

"And Jubilation." Elizabeth stressed.

"Your Goddaughter?" Hank sounded truly interested as he looked off to the girl who seemed content to explore on her own.

Something Raven never wanted to see again in her life was laid out on the table, an awful reminder of Paris and how far Erik would go in his crusade, the mutant detector invented by Bolivar Trask.

"Buying Trask Industries got us the Sentinels to mothball, Charles my silent partner, but in all the chaos that followed enough hardliners must have stolen whatever surplus they could get their hands on. One of the doctors I had consulted came to me with this, offering an answer to what was, what was wrong with Warren." Choking out the words, the elder Worthington drank down his coffee that had already gone cold.

"How?" Raven asked, her voice a hoarse whisper as she looked from the mutant detector to the Worthington's goddaughter.

"Her parents and her were visiting, the little rascal got into my office and found it. It was just a toy to her."

As Elizabeth wrapped Warren up in her arms to console his guilty conscience, Raven fell into Hanks embrace that promised everything would be alright no matter how much it hurt just then.

"Dear god." Charles gasped.

"They're out there, who knows what people are doing with them!" Warren managed to say past the ache in his chest.

"Her parents?" Raven asked, looking after Jubilee through her teary vision.

"Couldn't have cared less, but there was a car accident six months back. It was their anniversary of all days, they were younger than Elizabeth and I for God's sake."

"We were sitting for them." Elizabeth explained, looking affectionately off at her goddaughter.

It was just too much for Raven as she found herself forced to imagine breaking her promise to Kurt through no fault of her own in such an accident. Excusing herself, she joined him with the new playmates she had promised, never imagining their story to strike so close to home as it had.

"Lets build a house." Raven said, gathering up the building blocks the children were playing with, "How do we build a home?"

And together one wall at a time they built a home, adding a roof and finding a mommy and daddy out of dolls, a son and a daughter and a little dog too. Shy were their smiles at first, Clarice and Warren, but by the end they laughed along as they played at being a family.

It was so much like her life as she looked at them, looked to her son who was her world. She never asked for anything but life gave to her things she found hard at first, from being a mutant to being a mother, but she wouldn't have it any different. She wasn't alone anymore, and she wouldn't let these children grow up hiding behind masks and pretty faces, they were all beautiful in her eyes and to anyone who thought different, well, they could go to hell.

They had a bright future to fight for, and fight she would, for her son and all of them.

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